Lilith and Feminine Shadow
In astrology Lilith is the dark side of the moon and she speaks to the disempowered female in all of us. She’s our hidden desires and our primal need for equality and sexual authenticity. In our charts she represents the aspects of the feminine archetype fighting to come forward into the light of our consciousness’. Her energy is constantly at war with cultural projections of ‘what it is to be female’ and she fights to shine a light on aspects of femininity that we dishonour or repress as a consequence. For this reason, Lilith is considered ‘taboo’ ‘uncivilised’ and ‘wild’.
Lilith is a free spirit, her need to express herself authentically outweighs her regard for convention. She is the female warrior, independent and strong. Her energy in our chart encourages us to look to areas of life where we’ve given away our power, and where we’ve drained our resources through giving too much to others. She encourages us to stand up for ourselves and to look after number 1. Lilith tells us that we can be gentle, kind and nurturing and at exactly the same time, fierce and independent.
Why is Lilith Associated With Shame?
Many women struggle to acknowledge Lilith within themselves. To invite such primal urges and to accept them as part of ourselves can be psychologically challenging. It requires honest reflection and often the undoing of outmoded concepts of being. Our femininity is fragmented. In our charts Lilith exists to lead us towards integration and wholeness.
If we don’t accept Lilith into our lives then we will experience her through others. We will be unaware that these women are just projections of an aspect of ourselves and will feel unconsciously challenged by their presence. On both sides this can lead to feelings of deep shame. The inhibited female unconsciously ashamed of aspects of her own desire, and the women who have better integrated Lilith in their charts, having to cope with judgement and fight the insecurities this can induce.
Lilith and Sexual Authenticity
Lilith is concerned with sexual equality and sexual authenticity. In this regard she really becomes embroiled in Pluto territory, the sides of life that people rarely feel comfortable addressing. Undaunted Lilith exposes themes of sexual guilt, sexual shame and feelings of inadequacy. Her influence in our charts encourages us to work with these issues so as to establish an authentic relationship with ourselves and to build sexual relations based in truth.
As I alluded to earlier Lilith asks us to take back and own our power. This is counterintutitive to the way we’ve been brought up talking about sex. Consider the common way we phrase questions around virginity, “when did you lose your virginity?” “Who took your virginity?” “Who did you give your virginity to?” This paints a concept of sex as being at the expense of ourselves and to the gain of another. This terminology was historically used in the context of purity and chastity, and to this day still influences how we think about sexuality. This very narrative suggests that we will become lesser through its act. That doesn’t sound ‘good’, so if I enjoy it I must not be ‘good’? This unconscious dialogue makes women feel ‘bad’ ‘naughty’ or ‘dirty’ if they’re fully expressive of their sexuality.
Lilith is a sex-education class, or more precisely a sexual re-education class. Lilith gives women one very clear message; we need to destigmatise sex. Through sex we can discover aspects of ourselves. It’s an opportunity to learn what it means to be vulnerable and powerful at the same time, to embrace both the light and dark side of the femininity, raw and unedited. Lilith show us the path to female sexual authenticity.
Lilith is a complex asteroid, in this series of articles we will be discussing how Lilith is expressed in the natal chart and what it means in a male’s chart. Stay tuned!